The balance of power in relationships is often unconsciously maneuvered by people trying to maintain a one-up position, a one-down position, or both a one-up and one-down position. Their unconscious life pattern drives the learned behaviors. The move is toward dominance over the other with the implication that one person is in charge of making the rules. In order to stay in the relationship, the other person must acquiesce.

Because we are wired up neurologically to feel threat, it is difficult for people to speak their truth to each other.   The risk is that the other person might leave, a move toward dominance, or that individual might collapse emotionally, a move toward dependency with the hidden message of “please take care of me.”

The antidote to maneuvering power is to expand your consciousness through building your own self compassion and compassion to others. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to spend time in nature.

When we were teaching in Esalen, a photographer shared some of his beautiful photographs of the area, both the scenery and the animals. He described the Esalen Indian tribe who lived hundreds of years ago and believed they walked through portals in time and space to appear in Big Sur, and the earth intimately supported their lives.

One special photo was of a whale that swam up close to the photographer’s boat and looked at him eye to eye. Four years later he was boating again in a different area, and a whale came along side him. The enormous animal had the same markings under one eye and again looked deeply into his eyes. Remarkably, it was the same whale. There was some transformative moment of conscious connection.

When you understand we are all connected, there is no room for maneuvering power. When you open your heart to another, and settle the mind, you experience enough love to go around.

Upcoming Events:

Bill and Carol will be teaching in Italy this month on   deep state hypnosis for developing resilience.

They have also been invited again next summer to teach for Esalen.

Take care of yourselves this month and enjoy life.


Love, Carol and Bill

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