When you focus on self affirmation, you open into the possibility of changing a behavior that would increase life happiness. Think about what is important to you and let yourself feel grateful for that. Gratitude increases the feel good chemical, dopamine, in the brain.
Milton Erickson told the story of trying to get a stubborn cow to go into the barn. The more he pulled her from the front, the more she stood her ground. Then he had a brilliant idea. He went around to the cow’s tail and pulled it. Sure enough, the cow walked into the barn.
To help change someone else, a person needs to be open to making a change. But if you are a parent who wants to encourage a child who seems oppositional and combative, being more indirect may be better. Rather than directly pushing someone to do something he or she is resisting, it can be useful to point out how useful it may be to wait on doing certain things. It might be better to give this new endeavor a lot of thought and wonder what other needs you have to address first.
Children and adults resist doing certain things for good reason. Either they are fearful, lack confidence, or just aren’t interested. Any of these reasons are legitimate. When you take away the pressure to do something, a person can get in touch with his or her true desires.
Carol and Bill will be closing their clinical practice at the end of the year. They will move into full time teaching workshops and writing.
The next Online Ericksonian Conference on Anxiety will be offered soon. Watch for the announcement.
April 22-23 2016 Carol and Bill will be a offering a new workshop in Houston on Triggering the Power of Placebo with the latest neuroscience tools. Watch for details.
Have a great rest of October.
Carol and Bill